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GUEST COMIC BY CHRISTOPHER PT. 3

(Transcript and visual captions below}

Crispy Licks and Malmo Wp.Stevens had a long day behind them and a long night ahead of them. Malmo and his ex-boyfriend Herman were going to put on the silver pants again for one last concert. Crispy was going to tend bar and try not to cry about the end of an era. But for now, their nicotine habits were calling to them. Without a word, they nodded at each other and stepped outside.
   "Malmo, you got a light?"
   "Always."
   "Siiigh. No more Space Boys?"
   "No more."
   "You know if Herman is seeing anybody?"
   "... Change the subject, Crispy."

In which GLOBAL CHAOSSSSss does its thing.

Officers Stibble and Henson approached the stolen horse and its rider with tasers drawn.
   "Madam! Dismount the horse and approach us with your hands over your head, and no one will get hurt!"
   "No one will get hurt? Is that what you guys told Greta Page when you fried her pacemaker with your tasers?"
   "What? Listen, that was just a few bad apples, or something..."
   "What about when your pigs beat Ronald Parton until his eyeballs popped out?"
   "Is she just making that one up?"
   "..."

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     February 21st, 2014
     By:  Christopher

Dorein willed it not. Eight days. Sadako got me yesterday, what can I say? Also, I apologize for Crispy Licks. It's 5:12 AM and I shouldn't be trusted with writing.

I feel I must specify, Mildred started out as just being a one-off joke and while her legend has grown, there are no plans to make her outlast this series of comics. If anyone wants to take up the further adventures of Mildred in fanfic, you are welcome to.

Meanwhile, to satisfy your old ladies + mayhem + electric guitar needs, go to http://nzambi.com/dm/okei/ and read several of the semi-animated comics there.

            TRANSCRIPT: This is the text of the comic, for purposes such as translation and internet searches.

1.)

(Two men stand on a street corner, smoking. The shorter man is wearing
 a CatCat T-shirt. The design and colors are a little different from Jack's.
)

MAN NUMBER ONE: Seriously, how did you get your grubbies on a CatCat shirt that fast?

MAN NUMBER TWO: I got connections, bro.

2.)

(They are startled by a large fast thing going by, blowing their cigarette smoke about.)

FAST THING: ZEWM!!!

3.)

('Tis Jack's car, and it is rolling along all bad-ass.)

4.)

(Within the car, we again see Darren, Jack, and Mildred the Angry Granny.)

DARREN: Let me show off for once. Yeah, check this...

5.)

(Next to a large pub window, a stout policeman stands alert. His reflection can be seen in the dark glass behind him.)

6.)

(Darren walks by. His reflection seems to be reaching...)

DARREN: Word, my good man.

COP: Move it along, scumbag.

7.)

(Next to a large pub window, a stout policeman stands alert. He has no reflection.)

8.)

  (Someone resembling the policeman but speaking with Darren's voice
leans in the passenger side window. Jack is impressed, Mildred shocked.
)

DARREN COP: Get me. Oink oink!

JACK: Holy shit, so life-like!

9.)

(Jack does the maniacal hand gnarl and looks fiendishly excited.)

JACK: Soo... GLOBAL CHAOSSSS And what have you?

10.)

  (Jack's car is driving past some shocked cops. Darren Cop is in the driver's seat, flipping a bird out the window. Mildred is hanging
out of the sun roof, giving them the
double deuce. Jack is riding his hood like a surfboard and seems to be flipping off the whole world.)

JACK: WOOP WOOP

11.)

(Still in cop form, Darren slaps a familiar druggy jock.)

DARREN: Cop did it!

12.)

 (A cop stands in green city park, holding the reins of a horse. Two pairs
of legs/feet seem to be flying in from above while the cop is unaware..)

13.)

(Darren and Mildred have landed on the horse, Mildred clinging to him like a lady on the cover
of a barbarian novel. They both offer the cop one middle finger apiece, while stealing his ride.)

DARREN: Cop did it!

14.)

(A cop is splayed on the ground, Darren and Mildred escape with a battle cry...)

DARREN: Cop diiiiidiiiit...!

15.)

(A fleet of cop cars streaks through the dangerous night.)

COP CARS: EEooEEEooE...

16.)

(A crowd of rebels in CatCat shirts waves fists and sticks and tosses burning bottles around, while crowboys steal a TV in the foreground.)

CROWD: HEY HEY HO HO   SOMETHING SOMETHING GOT TO GO!        DOWN WITH SHIT

17.)

(The crowd continues its rage, the city seems to be on fire, and Jack ollies over
the crowd
on a skateboard, CatCat face on for any cell phone cameras. A shiny
electric guitar hovers over the panel to offer an opinion on the proceedings.)

ELECTRIC GUITAR: SQUEEEEEAL!

CROWD: UP WITH CATCAT

18.)

(A security camera shows both Cop Darren and CatCat Jack, its time code possibly corrupted by Jack: 0091019CAT.)

19.)

(In the foreground, Mildred on horseback, wearing Darren's cool shades. A fire with smoke, broken glass hanging from above.
   In the background, the city skyline is visible, and below that a cop car with a tiny silhouetted policeman, ready for action.)

MILDRED: I'll never let the man take me down!

 
 
 
 
 
 
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