TRANSCRIPT: This is the text of the comic, for purposes such as translation and internet searches.
1.)
(Olga laments ostentatiously, capturing the attention of Minnie and Jack.)
OLGA: Exaggerated Siiiigh...
2.)
(Jack and Minnie.)
MINNIE: I'll bite... Olga, why are you sighing?
3.)
(Olga.)
OLGA: It's all this snow! Who ever heard of a snowy white Godmas?
4.)
(Jack and Minnie make Olga flip the flip out.)
MINNIE: Why would you care about the weather on Godmas?
OLGA: Lawdamimbo!
5.)
(Olga freakin' out face.)
OLGA: Y'all don't know what's so special about Godmas?!
MINNIE and JACK: (off panel, together) Nope
OLGA: I think y'all need an education!
6.)
(Olga narrates, a happy sun and weird eyeballs in the background.)
OLGA: Godmas is a special, sacred time of year, a time when it's so hot, you get to havin' visions of our good lawd!
7.)
(Olga talking to excited Jack and Minnie.)
OLGA: All the little buckaroos and barbaras tuck in for the night, vision of candied mutton dance in their heads!
JACK and MINNIE: Wow
8.)
OLGA: (hand gesturing dramatically) But hark! Tis a sound, a crack in the night!
9.)
(Olga narrates the scene - Worshipper Clancy rides his kangaroo, firing his gun in the air for no reason, as kids cheer him..)
OLGA: Why, it's jolly old Worshippa Clancy, firing randomly into the sky!
CLANCY: WA ROO ROO ROO
10.)
(Floaty Olga head continues narration over new scene: joyous children with hats full of ice cream.)
OLGA: Soon, good girls and boys will wake to find kiwi-squash ice cream in their hats! ...
11.)
(Naughty kid creeped out by cancellation note in hat, ice-cream hatted kid in background mocking him.)
OLGA: ...while naughty children find a cancellation note on their health insurance policies!
ICE CREAM HEAD: HA HA
12.)
(Olga addressing Minnie and Jack.)
OLGA: It's only the most wonderful time of the year! Sometimes, on a torrid summer night, You can hear him! It's the soft thump of his snowshoe roo "Bounder," and that joyous cry...
13.)
(Doe-eyed Olga wistfully recalls the song.)
OLGA: Waroorooroo, Waroorooroo.
14.)
MINNIE: Eet sounds, uh... magical... Right, Jack?
JACK: Eh... Isn't Worshipper Clancy a gory martyr? ...
15.)
(Jack continues.)
JACK: ...You think he was kiddified by corporate interests to sell guns and ice cream?
16.)
OLGA: (angry) What? No! Lawd! Y'all got no Godmas spirit at all!
17.)
(Everyone looks sassy in their own special way.)
OLGA: Well what do y'all do for Godmas in Glenland, fancy pants?
MINNIE: Fair Question
JACK: Um...
18.)
(The Glennish vision of Worshipper Clancy is an older gentleman in a fur coat, carrying shoes and a sign that reads "ALL BROGUES 20% OFF!" In the bottom corner of the screen, there's a tersely worded letter to Jack, complaining about his conduct. Jack explains.)
JACK: Worshipper Clancy might leave a pair of sensible shoes on your doorstep, if you behave...
...Otherwise, he leaves you a tersely worded letter.
19.)
(Jack continues and Minnie is amused.)
JACK: Mostly it's just an excuse for shoe sales and for writing passive-aggressive notes.
MINNIE: So weird! hee hee hee
OLGA: (off panel) Well, How about Koromo?
20.)
(Minnie is cranky and Jack is cheeky.)
MINNIE: You wanna know about Koromo, ask Consuela. I'm from Castaña, idiota.
OLGA: (off panel) Kastan?
MINNIE: Sí.
JACK: How about it?
21.)
(A handsome youth holds an arrow over an ecstatic lady's ample bosom, Minnie explains.)
MINNIE: Devoto Eclancio comes to virgins een the night, stabs them in the
heart with his magic arrows, Geeves them visions of Heaven, or sometheeng.
22.)
JACK: Wow, that's intense. What's that all about?
23.)
(Minnie looks embarrassed.)
MINNIE: Um... It's like Aleph, when she was anointed Angel of God's Law. God, uh, bared her breasts, to, y'know, touch her heart 'n' stuff.
24.)
(Olga stands with arms folded sassily, Jack waves a tiny Glennish flag, and Theodore comes through the door like a Fleischer cartoon.)
OLGA: Well, crapfire. I can tell I ain't gonna have a traditional Godmas in this freaky country.
JACK: Glenland!
THEODORE: Festive Godmas, everyone!!! Have you all behaved this year?
25.)
(Minnie, Jack, and Olga make exasperated faces.)
ALL THREE: Eh...
26.)
THEODORE: (smiling) Well, I hope so, because you just might find something sensible on your doorstep!
27.)
MINNIE: Maybe you'll find something burning in a paper bag on your door step...
28.)
(View from behind Theodore: behind his back he holds a shopping bag from "Shoe Emperor" with a tag hanging out that reads "20% OFF!" Olga, Jack, and Minnie make awkward faces.)
THEODORE: Does anyone know where I can find some stationery? |